As most people know, working as a bartender means giving up a number of things, most noticeably, your weekend nights. Instead of bar hopping with friends or going out on dates, we find ourselves behind the bar, ringing in your orders, pouring drinks, all the while dealing with obnoxious and unruly drunkards.
But hey. Don’t get me wrong. We signed up for this gig, knowing fully well what the opportunity cost is. The opportunity cost, in most cases, means a sacrificed friday or saturday night (or both!). But the money we make from these nights makes it worth while.
And that brings me to this time of the year. The holidays. I’m talking about the span of time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. The time of year that is supposed to fill people with the holiday spirit, and that jolly sense of hapless giving. Most people who go carousing around bars and clubs during this time of the year are out to have a good time filled with great company and proliferous drinking. And while the majority of club goers fall under this category, there is, unsurprisingly, a sizable portion of people who fall under a category I like to refer to as the grinches.
These are the people who show up at your bar mildly intoxicated. They start off the night by refusing to wait in line as the others around them, and attempting to grab your attention by doing any of the following:
1) waving their hands in the air like a baboon in heat
2) screaming “bartender” or “hey, you” hoping that we hear them amidst the loud club music
3) throwing straws or bunched up napkins at you in the hopes that you’ll turn around, smile, and acknowledge them
4) grabbing you as you walk past them
To which, we respond by pretending to ignore them, skipping their turn and serving the next customer, or delaying to make their drinks till the last possible moment. The majority (9 out of 10) of these A-holes won’t tip you anyway, so why waste your time slaving over them?
I speak for most bartenders when I say this, to you @$$ holes. Bartenders have to work during holidays that most others have off. While everyone else is partying it up and getting inebriated, we have to remain alert and sober. Give us a break. Next time you’re at the bar, wait for your effin turn. You don’t have to be nice, but don’t be rude. Don’t grab us. Shout and scream ‘bartender.’ And for the love of god, show some holiday spirit and tip. It’s not going to break your bank account. Do this, and I promise you. You’ll get your drink. On time!
